| you know what? |
[Dec. 7th, 2009|11:53 am] |
i think im starting to hate everyone.
like i dunno.
ive been going with the nicest of intentions but still people push me over, and find something toyell at me for.
im starting to think theres no point in bothering for people.
like, i try really hard to do things nice for people, favour when they need help, and just nice things for now reason cause i want to...
but i still get targeted, and yelled at?
i dont get it.
i think i am going to stop trying for people from now on.
im sick of getting hurt for being nice.
like, i dont want to be a bitch to people, its just when they want something from me, im not going to.
whats the point?
no one does anything for me anyway.
i have people that ive done things for then when i needed help they just flat out said no.
i mean really.
thats not nice.
( and a little extra if leiths in the building. ) |
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| updaaateee. |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|09:40 pm] |
well.
hallows eve was shit.
*sigh*
o well.
i got to see bear, which, as it always does, made it better.
mine back hurts.
:D
i know this says update...
but im too tired and lazy to do it now.
shall do it properly tomorro.
yes. |
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| stolen clams meme!~ :D |
[Sep. 25th, 2009|05:48 pm] |
:D
Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING! (cheater will be punished severly. I KNOW IF YOU HAVE.)
Step 5: If you like the game, post your own!
( meme. ftw. )
well. that sucked. lol.
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| ive come to the realization none of mine posts are happy... |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|08:47 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | dre | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | mine foochin bed. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | white noise from television in next room. | ] |
so.
FUCK IT.
RIGHT TO HELL.
yeah thats right.
people just DONT GIVE UP do they?
omfg.
i realize that i must be the biggest fucking bitch in australia right now,
but.
jesus fucking christ. |
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| maximum hormone. |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|06:29 pm] |
so yeah.
remember how i was saying i was gunna see marilyn manson?
yeah well.
im seeing him sill.
but im seeing someone even better next year.
MAXIMUM THE HORMONE.
fuck yeah.
australia, youre finally getting some good bands.
*high five*
i have a head ache.
but im willing to shout for maxim.
hellz yeah baby.
im the happiest mother fucker in the village.
but yeah.
this week was really really good.
the majority of the year were away on excursion,
so while they were wasting their time int the snow i was having a shitload of fun doing nothing in my class with mine friends.
(minus mathilda cause she was in the snow > <)
i wagged every textiles class to go to software and painted while watching everyone else play video games and teased them and bullied dre.
it was great.
mrs farrell took a liking to me and made me tea every period and sometimes bought me food from the canteen...
and just a general pissing around and loling at everything.
hellz yeah.
brilliant week.
we all agreed that we wouldnt mind if they didnt come home from the snow.
but then again,
wed eventually have to do school work,
even if they didnt come back right?
normally id miss mathilda....
BUT i was having too much fun,
lol.
sorry clam.
> <.
so yeah.
ttfn.
x. |
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| mondays. |
[Aug. 17th, 2009|12:08 pm] |
so.
its monday.
yeah...
...............................................
...............................................
..............................................
what now?
-_- |
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| whats it to you? |
[Aug. 11th, 2009|10:10 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | gay, merrik | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | random trance | ] |
mm merrik.
i know hes mine OC but bloody hell.
i love him.
hes....like mine dream man....
but hes gay.....
so...
not really....
but he makes me happy none the less.
if he was real i would wanna snuggle him all the time.
and he wouldnt mind.
cause thats how i made him :] |
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| "oh, dont worry, that just how he says hello~" |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|09:34 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | claudia, clean room, cliff, dead, ffvii, gay, grandma carol, louis, mother, playstation, silent hill two, video games | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
yeah.
sure thing.
so my FFVII poster came in the mail today.
pretty epic.
pretty epic.
i was meaning to play some silent hill two today...
i started up the playstation and thats as far as i got...
-_-
brilliant.
so im happily skipping through the internetz and i stumble upon clams post she made today.
and i mean STUMBLE.
or maybe its closer to TRIP AND FALL OFF A CLIFF.
so now im sad again today.
brilliant.
im feeling guilty about getting angry with grandma carol yesterday.
but really theres nothing i can do about it.
ill have to wait till she gets home to call her and apologise.
mums an asshole.
sure thing.
sure thing.
i think louis is trying to eat claudia.
or maybe thats just how they mate.
i sure hope not.
just the idea disturbs me.
id rather them trying to eat each other.
today was boring.
i woke up with plans in mind, when really i did absolutely nothing.
i wasted time.
o well.
: \
i should clean my room.
too lazy.
: \
ill come back soonish...
to complain some more i guess....
so long, spanish blue tack.
~ |
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| yes, youre right. hell froze over. |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|07:51 pm] |
And with the realization of madness she stops. Ho ho ho. What a load of bullspit. And the world is begginging to end my dear friends. As i, the one known as having no patience for these things, am sitting down and completing what people would call a "BLOG". |
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| my dear god. |
[Aug. 4th, 2009|05:46 pm] |
well.
Today, ive had this over hanging sense of, i dunno.
i sorta felt like when i got home something bad would happen.
my instincts were right.
but what i got was much worse than i was expecting.
i was browsing myspace(lol) and i come across the myspaces of all the members of DBSK.
then i come into contact with some information.
some of which i really did not want to know or be factual.
two of the members of DBSK(it didnt say who) do not like their contract and theyre planning on disbanding.
DBSK. DISBANDING.
...
DBSK.
...DBSK.
HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN.
*shakes fist in EXTREMELY angry manner*
STOOPID RECORDING COMPANY. YOU BETTER FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
ILL COME OVER THERE AND MAKE YOU.
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:<<<<<
ok. my tantrum is over now, but what the hell.
i completely adore this band(lol of you could call them that "i dance! thats MY instument :D").
(trying really hard not to sound like sappy fangirl)
but in the short time of knowing about this band i have grown to love them and they have brightened my veiw of the world.
ugh.
this is bull crap.
i hope this all works out for the better... |
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| so. |
[Aug. 1st, 2009|03:22 pm] |
so. howdy.
you may have noticed, i dont post much about myself anywhere....
haha, i guess mainly its cause i dont really think that much of the stuff going on for me isnt really THAT interesting for people to have to download and read.
the past few months tho ive been having these really screwed up dreams, and since i dont post here often i thought people might find these a tad more interesting than whats actually happening.
so yeah. here goes then.
Dream Numbah Two.
*Note* cant remember everything, but ill try.
*Note 2* this was a very vivid and disturbing dream for me. *shrugs*
ok so. in the beggining of this dream i seem to be much older and on a date with my husband. (hes not anyone i reconise) we were getting quite steamed up as we were on the way home. kissing blah blah. we walk through the door to the house to see my little sister (who for some reason has not aged at all :| ) watching television, i assume she was baby sitting my children. we ignore her, kiss and we move toward the bedroom. for some reason my husband goes into the kitchen and tells me to wait for him, perhaps to get wine or something. i walk down the hall to see my daughter standing there with a haunted expression. i kneel down to take her into my arms and i ask her what is wrong. "im sorry mummy." she says in a monotone. i ask her what for. she takes me by the hand and into the kitchen to see my son on the bench with the top of his head cut off and his brains and blood spilt out everywhere. alramed, i yell to my husband that im going to call the ambulance. (for some reason he was no longer in the kitchen.) so i run back into the hallway where the phone is mounted on the wall. i pick up the phone and call for an ambulance. while i am my husband comes back and starts toughing me and kissing my neck etc. frightened i yell "HELP ME". my husband becomes very angry at this and pulls out a knife and cuts open my stomach. he then began having sex with my intestines when i woke up.
Dream Numbah One.
*Note* i cannot remember full details, i will write to the best of mine memory.
the begginging of this dream started with me "waking up" in my bed. it was still night so the room was dark and herd to see. i got up beacuse i had a very bad thirst. blindly walking across to my door and opening it, then also blindly finding my way to the nearby fridge i could hear foot steps. alarmed i went back into my room to find my bed covered in porcelin dolls with what seemed like blood on them. i yelled out to my mother something like "mum, someones in the house." (i have not the slightest clue why my mother is in my dream, cause i sure dont live with her) i got to responce so i peaked out of my room again to see if anyone was walking close by; i could only see shadows moving. i got out of the room but became very fightened for some reason and hid behind the couch. inbetween the couch and the wall i got a glipse of the person in the house walking past. it was one of the science teachers from my school mr fox (no idea why hes in it either, lol.). he then disappeared out of my sight again for a few moments. then suddenly he appeared behind me and shot me in the back of the head. i suddenly felt very tired. (i remember thinking "oh, thats not good. this is not the time to sleep.") mr fox walked around to my front and i tried taking the gun from his hands saying "give me the gun" his reply, "no i want the gun." this went on for a little bit untill i mangaed to get the gin from his hands and i shot him five times in the head. i got up and then yelled to my mother to call an ambulance and that i feel really tired. after waiting for the ambulance and driving to the hospital mother saw someone walking through the streets that she knew. (i dont know why they were walking through town in the middle of the night but oh well.) she then asked the ambulance to stop so she could talk to them. their conversation went on for a long time and i could feel that i was going to die. "hurry up mum. come on." i winged. se just waved her hand at me and ignored me. i then died.
yeah. plesant.
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|
| what? |
[May. 15th, 2009|09:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  horny | ] |
spock ftw. |
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| and the date is...the first of march |
[Mar. 1st, 2009|08:08 pm] |
no ones gonna read this but....
oh well.
hellooooooo~
i figured now that i have internetz all the time i may as well like....
you know...
post stuff.
uh. well, currently im stressed as FUCK. i have no career path to follow and im afraid of failing my hsc and getting a nothing job and ending up as one of those ppl that just stay in lismore and have like fifty million kids and end up being a big fat nothing....i mean i see all my friends around me, they have jobs in mind and i think thyre gonna acheive what theyre trying to do, i mean...theyre all doing really well. teachers are being positive toward them and then theres me. no one pays attention to me unless its bad. "take that peircing out." "dont dress like that" "your being too loud", ive always been not cared about but i wish i could do SOMETHING right for once.....and i want to quit maths. its bugging me so much that i want to quit school. i suck at it so badly. I DONT WANT TO BECOME NOTHING. i wish to have talent in SOMETHING. anything.
and theres that ive moved into my nans.
yeah its better than i have been in a few years but...no ones going to help me anymore. no one cares. im alone. heh. i mean yeah sure, its better than living with my abusive parents, but... its lonely. i feel so fucked up in the head right now...i just...dont know what to do...
im sorry to anyone who could actually be bothered to readd this crap that its all me winging about how crap my life is but....i just needed to get it out.
heh.
sorry again.
i dont normally reveal myself like this...so maybe consider yourself lucky?
i wouldnt know.
perhaps unlucky...
x. |
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